Let's talk about sex, baby
Jessie Larbi
This week we interviewed a bunch of you guys on campus about your sex life. After a few more discussions, we got to know a bit more about your sex life. In order to grant these people anonymity, we have changed their name. Besides, all the sexual acts discussed were consensual.
Alex, a second-year student studying Journalism
I’ve been together with this guy for a while now. But our sex life didn’t use to be as active as it is now. We mostly went out for dinner dates; we would sometimes go over to each other’s places. However, as of late, it’s mostly been staycations. One day we’re at Shangri-la hotel for his birthday, and the next time we will be at Grand Hyatt hotel. We didn’t use to purposefully book rooms. However, with all this free time and the available options, it’s become something we enjoy.
My boyfriend and I don’t have much of a sex life. Let’s say that we engage in that activity once a month. It mostly has to do with our living conditions at home. We both live with our family, so with everyone having to work from home these days, the only time that we get to have sex would be during our staycation nights. So, for the rest of the other times, I end up masturbating.
I think in Hong Kong the gay scene is pretty sex oriented. This perception may be because of having heard others talk about male guys having a comparatively sexual sex drive. When we use visuals as an example, within the community it has a lot to do with our bodies. Masculinity is sometimes a deciding factor. There have been instances where I would be too feminine for them. Sometimes being a little bit masculine would be the way to go. I find it pretty ironic that for even such a minority community, there are harsh standards that some of us still have to face.
When I was single, I used to encounter men that could be pretty demanding about who they wanted to engage with. However, the list always contained “good looking” and “slim”. It’s even more ridiculous as most of these encounters were only just for a night!
Cleo, a third-year student studying Business Administration
During my second year, I was out with the girls at Lan Kwai Fong. I just so happened to have been stressed then. Before that night was over, I met this guy and we decided to exchange numbers. So, for two weeks we were texting back and forth, not expecting anything to escalate from there, but did eventually end up coming out for a drink… or two. One thing led to another and before we knew it, I was seated on his lap in my bedroom. But that was when the condom decided to slip off.
“What the fuck?”, he screamed. And I couldn’t help myself but respond with a shriek as well. I paused and reflected on my life.
The next day I immediately went to The Family Planning Association of Hong Kong Headquarters. I felt out of my comfort zone with having to be in that lobby waiting side-by-side with 16-year-olds. They looked lonely, just like me in that situation. I forgot to bring my student visa, so I was charged more than the usual amount of $240 (including the doctor’s and nurse’s assessments). I waited for two hours there as I didn’t know such things required an appointment through their website emergency phone call. Those two hours were spent reminiscing about my decisions and not to mention the educational sex video that was on repeat.
During the nurse assessment I stepped on the weight scale, and then came the questions:
“Who did you have sex with?”, she asked.
I couldn’t have told her it was just a one-night stand. I lied “He was my boyfriend.”
“How long were you guys together?”, she pressed.
“For four months.”, digging my grave even bigger.
Then she proceeds to ask, “Tell me exactly what happened?”
“I was on top of him and the next thing we knew it was a slip-up.”, I explained.
Finally, I think the last question she asked was pretty considerate.
“Was it consensual?”
Later with the doctor’s assessment, she placed two graphs before me to let me know of my options. There was the stronger one which can be taken within 5 days and the mild one that needed to be absorbed under 48 hours. As I was betting on my life here, I took no chances and opted for the former. However, I was still told that even after taking plan B, there was still a chance of ending up pregnant with the baby coming out deformed.
For the guy, we stopped talking afterward. It was my choice to go to the Family Planning center on my own. I didn’t want him to accompany me, but at least he freaked out about the situation.
When I think about sex, I often relate it to this experience. I think it is quite unfortunate for girls to have to do most of the worrying. We worry a lot about getting pregnant, while for the guys it just seems so much easier. I often found myself doing a lot of this when I was with my previous boyfriend. The worrying would always be five days before my period every month. In all honesty, maybe for one, the guy should consider taking contraceptive pills instead. Overall, if you ask me, I don’t get the hype over sex.
Scarlett, is a fourth-year student studying Business Administration and Wealth Management
I have had no sex life before and after the pandemic struck. Even when we were pandemic-stricken, that life was still pretty much non-existent. Nothing particularly happened, but there was this one incident that occurred when I went back to France before the city came into lockdown in February.
My first three weeks back there was quite a lot of partying. In France, people are a lot less studious than folks here, and there would be a party every other day. I met people here and there from such hangouts. But generally, you could say I wasn’t looking for anything. It was honestly just for a good time. Towards June and July, I started to feel horny… one day, I was at my brother’s birthday party and I met this guy. We hit it off immediately. We talked a lot that night and even stayed for the after-party until 7 the next morning.
We decided to hang out some more afterward. He was just the sweetest guy ever. This was because I remember on one occasion, he had cooked up pasta with minced meat red sauce. Being a vegetarian, I obviously wouldn’t have been able to eat it. But he was such a sweetheart and picked out every single meat from my plate. Seeing as we were with a group of friends, we decided to excuse ourselves to my room after dinner was over.
We started talking for a while in there and before we knew it, we were kissing and getting all touchy. As you know one thing led to another and Serena happened. So, Serena is the name of my wig. Little did I know, it was slipping off all along. She was on top of my head one minute, and the next, on the other side of the room. He had grabbed her and before I knew it, he had thrown her to the other side of the room. What’s even more funny was how he just continued groaning and pushing my head down, so we carried on like business as usual.
In my defense, it was my first time wearing a wig. I didn’t know it was meant to be clipped onto my hair. It was just my bare hair on show now. Once we were both satisfied and I fell asleep right after. When I woke up the next day, I quickly wrapped my head with a scarf. It was such a funny experience that I immediately texted my close friends about it.
After that though, we didn’t contact each other after that. It wasn’t because of Serena whatsoever, but I guess I just wasn’t feeling it with him anymore. As for Serena, I took her out for a test drive the week after. She was high and free during skydiving, and most importantly glued to my head!